Why Avoidance Feeds Anxiety: The Power of Facing Your Fears

Introduction: Why Avoidance Feels Safe (But Isn’t)

When faced with something that makes us anxious, the most natural reaction is to avoid it. It feels like a quick fix—if you stay away from the thing that triggers anxiety, the discomfort goes away. Kind of like when you are in line for a roller coaster and make a last-minute choice to bail out. As soon as you step out of the line, your anxiety vanishes and is replaced with relief. Or when you cover your eyes during the scary part of a movie. It's a natural safety behavior, and in many cases, it’s useful. If I see a shady character standing outside my door, it is probably appropriate that I avoid going outside. But in the cases of OCD and anxiety disorders, what we are avoiding isn’t actually dangerous. Because our brain is sending false alarms, avoidance only reinforces those alarms and strengthens anxiety over time.

For those struggling with OCD and other anxiety disorders, avoidance becomes a way of life. Anxiety is hungry, and it wants more and more avoidance. Whether it’s avoiding places, people, thoughts, or situations, the temporary relief reinforces the belief that the fear was real and that avoidance was necessary. This cycle keeps anxiety alive and growing. The key to breaking free from anxiety? Facing your fears!

1. How Avoidance Traps You in Anxiety

Avoidance isn’t just about staying away from external things—it includes mental avoidance, like pushing scary or uncomfortable thoughts away or seeking reassurance to escape discomfort. Every time you avoid something that triggers anxiety (whether it's a thought or something specific), your brain learns that the fear is dangerous and that avoidance is the only way to stay safe.

For example:

• Someone with OCD fears contamination, so they avoid touching doorknobs. The more they avoid, the scarier doorknobs seem.

• Someone with social anxiety avoids public speaking. Over time, this builds the belief that speaking in public is intolerable and must be avoided at all costs.

• Someone with panic disorder avoids exercise because an increased heart rate reminds them of a panic attack, reinforcing the idea that physical exertion is dangerous.

And the icing on the cake is that each time you avoid something, your brain actually believes you protected yourself from danger and prevented something bad from happening.

2. Exposure: The Science-Backed Way to Break the Cycle

If avoidance fuels anxiety, then the antidote is exposure—facing fears in a controlled and intentional way. Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) and CBT-based Exposure Therapy are the gold-standard treatments for OCD and anxiety disorders, working by gradually confronting fears without escaping or engaging in compulsions. Remember that roller coaster? Yeah, it means we have to gradually work up to riding it. And remember that scary movie? Yup, we have to work up to watching it.

Exposure teaches the brain:

• The feared situation is not actually dangerous.

• Anxiety naturally decreases over time without needing to do anything to "fix" it.

• You can handle discomfort better than you think.

For example:

• Someone afraid of contamination might start by touching a doorknob and resisting the urge to wash their hands.

• Someone with health anxiety might read about medical conditions without Googling symptoms or checking their body.

• Someone with panic disorder might do exercises that mimic a racing heart, showing their body that it’s not dangerous.

• Someone with OCD may start by purposefully thinking specific thoughts they typically avoid.

Facing fears is like updating your phone's software—you don’t want to do it, you think it will be awful and take forever, but once you do, things actually run a lot smoother. We all need to update our brain's software periodically. Anxiety and OCD prevent the automatic updates from occurring.

3. Why Avoidance is More Exhausting Than Facing Fear

Avoidance feels like it saves energy, but in reality, it drains you more. Constantly planning ways to avoid triggers takes up mental space and limits your life. And the reality is, there are an unlimited number of triggers, so you are facing an unwinnable task. Facing fears, on the other hand, leads to long-term relief.

Imagine carrying a backpack full of bricks. Each avoidance adds another brick, making the load heavier. Facing fears is like taking bricks out, one by one, until the weight is gone.

Or think of avoidance like trying to clear your email inbox by marking everything as "unread"—it doesn’t actually solve anything, and the notifications just keep piling up.

4. Building Resilience Through Exposure

Each time you choose to face your fears rather than avoid them, you strengthen your ability to handle discomfort and allow your brain to access new data. It’s like working out a muscle—what once seemed impossible becomes easier over time.

Anxiety and OCD therapists guide clients through exposures tailored to their specific fears, helping them push past avoidance and safety behaviors in a structured, supportive way. Over time, the fears that once felt unbearable lose their power.

5. How to Get Started Facing Your Fears

If you’re struggling with OCD or an anxiety disorder, you don’t have to face your fears alone. Professional help from an Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) specialist can make all the difference.

Here’s what you can do next:

• Seek an expert ERP-trained therapist who understands OCD and anxiety treatment.

• Start small—exposure is a gradual process, and you don’t have to tackle your biggest fear on day one.

• Resist compulsions—avoidance, safety behaviors, and compulsions may feel like they help, but breaking free means tolerating uncertainty.

• Remind yourself: Anxiety may spike at first, but it won’t last forever. Facing fears retrains your brain to stop seeing danger where there is none.

  
  

Conclusion: Facing Fears is the Path to Freedom, Stop Feeding Anxiety with Avoidance

Avoidance might feel like the answer, but it only deepens the problem. Real relief comes from facing your fears, not running from them. ERP therapy can help you break free from the cycle of OCD and anxiety and regain control of your life.

Take the Next Step

If you’re looking for specialized OCD and anxiety treatment in Arizona, Colorado, Nevada, Utah, Washington, New Jersey, or Illinois, I can help.

• Schedule a free online consultation at my website www.onlineanxietytherapist.com

• Learn more about how Exposure and Response Prevention therapy works.

• Start your recovery journey today—you don’t have to do this alone.